Nanny Diaries

Talking to your house help could be funny. Yes its sometimes frustrating when they don't get your instructions right away. But instead of getting irritated, there are instances when you will just find them funny.

Our helper has been with us for almost six months and here are two of the most hilarious encounters with her.

Di siya to. Para lang malinaw. Chuice!

Encounter 1:
My sister and my brother-in-law (BIL) were looking for a can of metal polish. But the help said she could not find it. Good thing the other one did.

BIL: Akala ko ba wala na tayong


Bakit nahanap sa ilalalim ng lababo?

Help: Ay kuya akala ko kasi ang hanap mo...

JUSKODAY!

Encounter 2
Over lunch

Help: Kuya masarap ba yung

Kaldereta

Me: hmmm mejo matabang
Help: Ay ano, baka sobra sa

ASIN!!!

Kaloka!!! HAHAHAH

My WIT list

Kids' Christmas is not complete without Santa Claus. That includes the excitement while making a list, the thrill of waiting for him and finally the joy of opening the gifts inside the sock or under the tree.


So it's definitely sad when you realize that Santa is just your parents. I can't remember exactly how I knew about it. I think when I started asking for ridiculous things like a horse (HAHA!) which my parents could not afford, that I learned Santa was just a hoax.

So to avoid annual disappointment, I would make realistic lists. Sometimes I just tell my parents directly. Or go with them to buy it. This time, allow me to rekindle my childhood by creating my 2010 WIT LIST.

Wit in gay lingo means nothing or wala. Sounds like wish but puro mga ambisyon lang. Well who knows, someone out there could play Santa for one of them.

1. iPad

Because my mbp is heavy to lug around and an iTouch is too small for my hands. Not that I really need it, but it wont hurt to have a new toy. Ay mahuhurt pala ang bulsa ko kapag bumili ako. So, give nalang! :D

2. Mulberry Alexa in Oak


I fell in love with the bag when I first saw it on Jak and Jil, That and the Proenza Schouler PS1. Pero dahil mas mahal pa to sa iPad, Managinip na tayo ng gising!

Speaking of dreams...

3. Lotto


Libre to pero sana mapanaginipan ko na ang mahiwagang 6 digits na yan!

4. Hermes

Anything Hermes! Bag, wallet, jewelry, scarf, belt kahit keychain pwede na. Fine, pwede na rin eto...

PBB Hermes

But please wag lang si...

Mang Hermes of Magkaribal

5. European Tour


I'm an old soul. Forget America, I'm good to leave the earth when I meet Mona Lisa, touch the doors of Vatican, shout at the top of Santorini and of course, get a genuine French kiss on top of the Eiffel (PAKAMBISYOSA LANG!!!)

And oh, study perfume in Paris too! Because that is my ultimate dream! And while in Europe...

6. Exclusive Wedding Invitation


All expenses paid trip ah! Para pwede akong sumigaw sa Westminster Abbey ng "ITIGIL ANG KASAL!!!!" Chuice!

7. Lacuna Services


Para makalimutan ko na ang mga nakaraang pilit na bumabagabag sa aking kalooban. Chusera! HAHAH

8.True Love's Kiss



Para maiba naman! Gusto ko nang irevoke ang membership sa SMP. Chuice!

Ok masyado na akong nangangarap! Santa, can you hear me? I've been extra good this year! And though I am too old to sit on Santa's lap like the kid above...

Seriously, I wouldn't mind. Chuice!

Edit: May nanalo na pala sa lotto! Congratulations and though I am happy for you! Punyetaaaa kaaaa! Chez lang.

Winning the Lotto

Last night I had a dream. And just like almost everyone's dream, I WON THE LOTTO! Of course with more than half a billion at stake, people will really dream, pray hard and pray harder that they bet on the correct set of digits!

Anyhoo, so according to my dream, ang una kong ginawa sa prize ay gumawa ng paypay made of Php 1000.00 bills!! HAHAHAHAHA Much more like this

Sadly, tig-bebente lang ang afford ko for this photo! Chuice!

But with 10-30% of an average Pinoy's brain all consumed with winning the lotto and what to do with the money after, it would be nasty to play this little prank

Now you see one's true colors. HAHA

Anyway, since today is Thanksgiving

THANK YOU TO ALL READERS OF KOI BEYOND POND!

(at hindi ito chuice lang)

I would like to express how grateful I am for all the support, comments and love! Thank you for allowing me to be part of your everyday lives (TV SHOW?!?!)-may it be before going to bed, while taking lunch in the office or when you are bored to death.

Nakaktouch malaman na meron akong napapaligaya (ANG DRAMA!). Really. It's difficult to make someone laugh. It's easier to just make someone cry... sampalin mo lang!

Dahil dyan, heto ang napapanahon kong regalo ko sa lahat!

TURKEY!-ish. Ruffa not included!

Love lots ,

Koi

Hot (?) Grannies on the Loose! Part 2

So yesterday we were talking about cool este hot lolas. I said there were 4 more images so ubusin na natin to at matapos na! Chuice!

Because in her youthful years, ganito pa ang istura ng mga bomba.

Ngayon may kakaiba na siyang mga pampasabog. Dalawa pa. Gets? Chuice! And she's looking for the next target.

Speaking of target...

EKIS marks the spot! Parang papanain lang. Or dart.

But don't judge them because di naman sila mahalay. Yung isa nga...

HEH!

At hindi porke't napaglumaan na ng panahon ay para na silang mga telang di magiging damit. (Ano daw?) Dahil may magagawa ka pa rin sa mga tira-tirang

Ay retaso na nga lang! Nagkulang na po tayo sa tela! HAHAAHHA

And so this topic ends here. Bye! :D
--

PS: Sinong tumataya ng lotto?

Hot (?) Grannies on the Loose!

Monday nights are usually post nights. Sorry I wasn't able to do so because I had no internet connection. WALEY!

Our net provider at home is Sky Broadband. Yeah, its fast though not as promised. And when it rains, the signal gets cut off immediately only to return the following day. Nakakajirits. Maybe it's time to switch to Lola Techie!

Sup? Che.

I wonder, do lola techies really exist? My mom who is already a lola but definitely younger than her is already struggling to use a computer so I'm really not sure. HAHA

But I think cool lolas are nice to have, right? Well if you think Lola Techie is cool enough, wait till you see this! I previewed one of them in my previous post so here's the whole album taken from Trendhunter. Here's a sample:

Oh wait, di dapat cool. Dapat ba HOTT?

Trust me when I say ETO NA ANG PINAKA CONSERVATIVE NA PICTURE!! The grannies you are about to see are in their MOST DARING poses and outfits. As if they star in some Pinoy soft porn flicks.

Pasintabi po sa mga sensitive. Thanks!

Para sa isang kakaibang SHOWER. Jusko!! Parang ayokong mag-pop ang mga bula-bula dyan sa katawan mo Inang!!!

Yup! Thin, delicate sensitive skin. Medyo maluwang na nga lang.

Naked? Check! Bare? Baka BEAR!!! Chuice! Ang fierce oh! Dinaganan pa ni lola!

Yes, sa headband, undies and sheer robe. Pati bag di pinatawad at nilagayan ng balahibo. Do you hear her purr? MEOOOOW?

Akala mo wholesome pero pansinin ang mga nakaSILIP. SUSMARYOSEP!

Ok, there are 4 more but I decided to cut the post for tomorrow. To much of something is bad. Chiuce!

Baboo! :D

---
Photos courtesy of Trendhunter

Advice from Snowhite Herself!

Every girl goes through an " I want to be a princess stage" where heaven is fairy land. Of course, who does not want to be the fairest of them all, to live in a castle, to get swooned by a Prince Charming and to live happily ever after?

In the case of Snowhite, may bonus pang dwarf barkada! Chuice

Luckily, we have one of our senior Disney Princesses to share some words of advice. So to all the girls, used-to-be girls and pa-girls out there, watch this!

The video got its share of likes and dislikes on YouTube. Apparently some people got slightly offended by the parody. You decide. :P

But here's an advice from someone close to our hearts on becoming a princess step #1: How to achieve a smooth and fair skin

Chuice lang!

Enjoy what's left of your weekend! :D

--
Thank you for the video, Maan Tan!

Out and About

As you may have noticed, I love taking pictures of things that make me smile (or even laugh). And I am always delighted to share them with you. Click this.

So I have been around the city again. From our neighboring supermarket to divisoria and even to as far as Novaliches. Armed with my camera phone, a little giggle is just a click away. Though I would love to receive a Lumix this Christmas (O, di na hint yan ah! Lantaran na! Chuice!) But let's save the wishlist for another post :)

Let's start with Walter Mart Supermarket

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??

Yes, I love my hotdogs in the morning (no pun intended) but thanks nalang sa freebie! At may name talagang "Ate"? Paka-creative!!! Plus the doll looks like a pok-pok who got arrested in some raid! Chez. Mas ma-appreciate ko pa kung eto ang free...

Again, no double meaning here! Tamang partner lang sa breakfast.
(Btw, I'm not interested in the "Ate" behind. Sa inyo nalang:P)

NASAAN ANG BURGER ABER???

Ilabas mo hayop ka! (Harsh lang?)

Naninisi ka pa! Wag ka na mag-maang-maangan! Chuice!

Meanwhile on the way to divisoria

Ay sorry, pang aso lang po yan! Pakitago, thanks!

Ayan! Kaya marami nang kabataan ang natuto magyosi!

Pero sana Marlboro man lang or Phillip Morris! Baka maging karpintero sila paglaki. What is mapang-mata.

Finally somewhere in Novaliches

That's right! Super Child Academy!

Parang ang joke time but the school is huge so I'm guessing they boast of a relatively large student population! Well, enrollees will definitely surge with this interesting roster of alumni...

From its fresh graduate

To a jubilarian

Super Inday!

To its very first batch of graduates

SUPERSTAR NORA!!! Chuice!

Got some pics? Email them to koibeyondpond@gmail.com and get featured! Thanks! (Thanks? Choz)

Baboo!

White, Cold and Bold Christmas!

Apart from decorations and songs, you will know it's Christmas when traffic becomes REALLY bad and when cab drivers become maarte (they choose passengers, whine a lot and force you to add to the metered rate) I experienced that coming from Greenhills today. I waited for almost an hour in the cab lane! Despite that, nothing can dampen the Christmas spirit. With Yuletide air filling the metro, you will still come home happy at the end of the day.

Speaking of Yuletide air, the whole house has been decked with ornaments already. I proudly participated by sprucing up the Christmas tree together with my niece :) Here are some shots

Mega-dapa sa sahig para makuha ang shot na to okey?

Close up on the ornaments

And the anghel dela guardia

If I'll have my own tree, eto ang ilalagay ko sa taas

Consolacion Laguardia! (Chuice lang)

An innovation this year would be Christmas village items placed on the dining area shelves

YES, MAY SNOW SA AMIN.


May tao-tao pa!


Spot the emoterang skater HAHA

Yes malamig talaga sa amin kaya may snow. Choz. Cotton lang yan.

Speaking of cold, if there's one thing I do not like about Christmas, it's being part of the infamous SMP (Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko). Well, I thought this year would be different. But I guess everyone knows that it's going to be another cold Christmas for me.

Sabi na kasing itago nalang to...

For the sake of the British crown and its people, i was left with no choice.
ILUSYONADAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Well, kung meron mang nilalamig ng bongga ang pasko siya na ata...

HOMAYGAAAD! JUSKOOOOOO!

We all know this was done on photoshop pero hello?! I'm really sorry but don't you think she is too old to be fantasized about? Unless you are her age or you dig cougars! Chuice!

Kinikilabutan talaga ako!!!!

Siya! Baka bangungutin ako! Babooo!