Bagong Gimik

When I started this blog almost a year ago (Uuy malapit na ang anniversary!) I was really hesitant about putting pictures of myself. Well di naman kasi ako kasing ganda ni Anne Curtis ( pero aminin, malapit na ata) para mag hello sa online world. But since I have a facebook account, what difference would it make?

I just said to myself, sige gow na ang pics wag lang videos. Feeling ko masyado na akong maraming shineshare... wala nang maiiwan sa akin. HEH OA. But I realized that my post needed a voice to create that total KoiBeyondPond experience especially for those who do not know me personally. And so the Fish Spa Happened and then nagkalat na sa Belly Dancing and Hula Hoop!

Maybe its time, maybe its needed. Maybe its wrong to say please love me too, cause I know you'll never do (ANODAW?!?)

Ladies and Gentlemen, KoiBeyondPond goes...

Video Blogging!!!

Here's the drill:

You guys can throw in random questions through my formspring account (jusko uso pa ba yun?)

http://www.formspring.me/koibeyondpond

At the end of the week, I will try to answer your questions through a video post.

NOTE: Let's keep our questions clean and reputation-safe. Bawal po ang mga kabastusan at ang nakakasakit ng damdamin ng iba. Bawal din po magtanong about my love life dahil ngayon pa lang isasagot ko nang WALA! charing.

Ready, set, GOW!!!

Teach Me How to Hula

I’m baaaaaack! After quite a long break from blogging, I finally found the time to post something. Nako ganyan talaga ang career woman. CHAR!

Actually I have been so preoccupied with the biggest leap in my life, which is moving to a new place and going solo. Pakshet feel na feel ko na talaga ang pagtanda ko!!! Sabi nga ng Johnson and Johnson Baby Powder commercial 48 years ago, “The baby is now a lady”. But more on that in another post.

And while we are in the topic of new experiences tulad ng pagpapakain sa isda and belly dancing, here’s another one…

HULA HOOP!!!
(exagg to, Olympic level!)

Sidekwento: I was masakitin as a child. So I was kinda pampered. Bawal mapawisan, mahamugan at masugatan. I never got the chance to really spend some time in the playground. And hindi rin ako batang kalye. Now you know why I am so BRUSKO like that.

And because my Mom believed that nakakapagod, nakakapawis at makaputol-buto ang hula hoop, banned yan sa bahay!

For one of our programs, our intern Elie brought with her a real hula hoop. Shempre ako si pabida, inattempt ko naman daw…

I wanted to do a video ala Teach Me How to Dougie but because of what happened to M-Bone wag nalang! Baka mapaaga pa ang pag meet and greet ko kay papa Jesus!

Before trying it out, my officemates gave me a few tips:

1. Keep your body straight
2. Put one foot forward for better balance
3. Do not move your hips around- Saluhin lang ang hoop by moving forward and backward.

Parang ang dali diba? But since kasing labot talaga kasi ng marshmallow ang aking sexylicious body, here’s what happened

Note: Please don’t mind my tummy. Kaka merienda ko lang niyan. Also, I did this after office hours ah! Serious talaga ako magtrabaho!

Hayup na thumbnail yan!!!!

Ok fail. Nasasabit kasi sa sofa!!! (Excuses). I bet ikinakahiya na ako ng sangka-bekihan!!!! But you have to agree with me, may potential toh! Soon enough tatapatan ko na siya, hula version...

PAK! Paka-fierce!!!

Promise I will learn soon! Baboo!

Quick Post: Petting is Not an Offence!

I had lots of pets as a child. Shempre anjan ang mga usual dogs, cats, fish and birds. But I had my share of kinda weird animals too: doves, a duck, a house mouse (gross right?), pati Tamagotchi di ko pinalagpas! And oh I had a chick turned chicken turned FRIED CHICKEN! In fair, masarap siya.

Here kitty kitty kitty!

So yeah, I am kinda makahayop. Kaya siguro puro kahayupan ang naiisip ko. CHAR. But wait bago niyo ako bigyan ng Animal Husbandry Award (Chuice!), let me clarify that I just love looking at them and leave the feeding and the grooming to our gardener. Parang "ay ang cute niyo...pero diyan lang kayo sa cage pwede???" and "Saka ko na kayo hahawakan kapag may show and tell sa school!"

Ang hatest ko yung hihimurin ka nila na parang ice cream. YAAAAK. And I'm kinda vocal about it. Like when a dog licks me I say " Hoy payat ako pero excuse me mukha ba akong buto???" Or when a bird pecks my hand "Psst ano ako, FEEDS???"

So you can just imagine the horror of this woman. Watch the video

Gaga, alam mo na palang not a good idea eh!

Nako naman teh, sa dinamidami ng pwede mong location, barn pa ang napili mo! At tumapat ka pa sa may camel! So when she asked why the camel ate her hair, I guess eto ang mga pwedeng isagot ng hayop:

a. Akala ko yung buhok mo hay!
b. Ay diba ikaw ang girlfriend kong camel? Kakulay mo kasi
c. Pota ka bakla! Iniistorbo mo ako! Sabunutan nga kita!
d. Teh, pa floss!
e. Ay pagkakataon ko nang gayahin yung idol ko sa TV...

Sarap ba ng wheatgrass, Teh Dyan?

So tell me, what was the camel thinking? Best answer gets a prize!!!

French Kiss from the camel! TALAP!

Let's Get Physical!

A healthy fish brings laughing hearts- yan ng bago kong motto. Effect no?

Well I just realized that in order to stay committed to keeping your hearts happy and your stomachs aching from all the laughing (there's like that??) I should be more mindful of my health. Kasi naman kung may sakit ako or mainit ang ulo ko eh di walang post! Sad diba? CHAREEEEENG.

Just to give you a background di ko talaga forte ang pagiging health buff.

1. I eat a lot- Thankfully, my metabolism is fast so whatever I eat gets burned easily. To quote my favorite Marian Rivera, MEYTEYN ang figure! And mind you, I devour anything. Meat, rice, potatoes, chips, chocolates, damo, bubble gum, straw, plastic utentils! Ok exagg, nginu-nguya ko lang yung last few items.

2. I am not a fan of exercise- I had several attempts to start a jogging habit. Having stayed inside the Ateneo for 5 years, I had the whole campus to jog around. Well my main motivation were the kere joggers I encounter (encounter?!?!). But nung dahan-dahang nawala ang mga kere, nawala na rin ang aking drive. Di ko rin naman bet ang gym. Kahit iharap mo pa sa akin ang mga naglalakihang muscles, kebs! Matutulog nalang ako ang I'll see them in my dreams instead! Chuice!

Pero fine, let's give health a chance.

It all started during the very famous escapade in the Manila Ocean Park. Part of Hotel H2O's perks was the free use of the gym. At bilang kere ang in-house instructor...

AVAIL KUNG AVAIL!!!

FishFLirt Tip #1: Tanga-tangahan school of acting

"Uhm excuse me, can you teach me how to use the treadmill? Uhm, I actually don't go to the gym and I just wanted to try it out" Spoken in the perfect Arrneow accent. Ang effect? May video, towel at advice pa! Well, I guess yun naman talaga ang trabaho niya.

Anyway since the gym routine bored me to death, I joined by office mates to some simple steps in....

BELLY DANCING! Taas!!!!!

Auee (the one who taught us) is actually a professional belly dancer and she is part of the group called Goddesses of Belly Dance. Know more about them here!

I was game to try some basic steps but knowing me chinarot ko lang din siya in the process!

Lesson #1: Hip Sway

YAN! Lesson #1 pa lang nanggugulo na sa klase!

But oh well, practice makes PWEDE!

Sorry guys, bawal mabighani! CHAR.

Lesson #2: Shoulder movements

"Nako ah, ang hirap, makapag ayos na nga lang ng hair!"
Notice the mahadera face in the end of the clip

Lesson #3: Knee thing. (Halatang di nakinig!)

SIGE MAG-IMBENTO KA NG SARILI MONG STEPS!!!

After minutes of training, here's the final performance!

At naghangad talaga ng boobs!!!

Oh well at least I realized that belly dancing is not for me. Perhaps I can do other workouts because I am really committing myself to a healthier lifestyle.

And with that, I shall be going through a 3-day cleansing diet together with Tim and Ate Ria starting tomorrow. This will be the start of the many more diet routines courtesy of Tim's new cellphone application na baka scam lang. CHAR. I'll blog about it next time.

Baboo! :D

Pag-iinarte sa Fish Spa

Now that the Royal Wedding hullabaloo has died a natural death, let's go back to regular programming.

In the previous post, I blogged about our office outing to the land far far away called Manila Ocean Park and here's Day 2. Missed part 1? Read about it HERE.

Well the highlight of the day would be the fish spa. Kung nung day 1 nagpakain ako ng Koi fish, day 2 witnessed KoibeyondPond being eaten by kapwa fish.

Trivia: The fish spa is actually a small tank filled with hundreds of Nibble Fish (sabi ng karatula) but according to the manong bantay they are called NOBEL FISH. Ewan ko bakit ganun, baka di siya nagreveiw ng spiel. Charot.

Anyway these animals feed on your dead skin cells. According to the story, there was once a shepherd from Turkey (?) na naglublub sa pond with all these fishy-fishy. Surprisingly the sores and wounds on his feet healed after siyang magpalapa sa mga isda. Yuck lang talaga sa taste ng mga isdang to!

Sidekwento (ang daming segments ng post na to): When I was young, the only time I would refuse to go with my mom was when she does marketing--as in pamamalengke. I hate the wet market. Mygad. With all malalansang isda around tapos pag sinabuyan ni Manang ng tubig yung mga isda kasama ka! YIIIIII

So you can just imagine na mag-iinarte talaga ako sa fish spa na yan! But oh well for the sake of experience, GOW! We made it a point to try it out first thing in the morning to make sure that the water is clean and para wala pang mga alipunga ng iba diba?

Here are the raw footages of Ang Pag-iinarte sa Fish Spa. For my readers who do not know me personally, well maririnig niyo na ako so the next time you read the posts, may boses and manner of delivery na kayong maiimagine!

Part 1: Initial Encounter

O diba? Palayasin mo nga ang mga isda!

Part 2:Ang Laitera

"Hindi ba kayo kumain???" = "MAG PATAY GUTOM!!!"

Part 3: Ang Mahadera

"MAYGAD you're all here! Get out!!!!"

After a few minutes, you'll get used to the concept of animals biting on your skin. It's not painful at all, only ticklish. In fact when Coach Pia dared me to try other parts...

Avail! Come fishies! Feast on my beauty!

By this time inechos ko nalang ang mga isda.

Part 4: Ang Utusera

Demanding???

The experience was supposed to be for 20 minutes only. But since wala pa namang tao, we stayed for another 20 minutes or so. By then I was feeling happy with their service.

Part 5: Meet Cherie Gil

After the fish spa, my feet were as soft as a baby's skin

They were smooth as silk too! You know why?

Ate bantay: Ah kasi po yung laway nila may moisturizer.

Backflip!!! Kadiri!!!!

Oh well, the next time you drop by Manila Ocean Park, don't forget to try this out! Just make sure wala masyadong tao para di yuck.

Because I was there...

I got my invite to the Royal Wedding a month ago. But due to prior commitments, I decided to send my regrets. The Prince replied with deepest disappointment. I had to make other serious excuses for him to accept my absence. After all, he's getting married to Kate. It was time for the both of us to move on...


ILUSYONADA.
Kahit na ako'y hamak na nagmamaganda lang, the Royal Wedding was not something to be missed. And while most people had TV's in front of them, I had to rely on live streaming. Ang dami kong tinry ah! BBC, CNN, Ustream, YouPorn (CHAR.) but all of them were slow.

Only to find out, the one that could give me the best streaming would be GMA News Online. Salamat! It was pixelated but oh well at least tuloy-tuloy. But theeeeen...

Uhhh, kung sino mang bantay nito, may virus daw ang computer! Pakilinis plezz

Thankfully they were able to fix it. And so ituloy ang kasal!

So pano nga if I was really invited to the Royal Wedding? Tanggalin na natin ang pag-iilusyong KoiBeyondPond and HRH Prince William and for some strange twist of fate, I was at Westminster Abbey to witness the event? Eh di as usual, maghahanap lang din ako ng ma-eechos!

Thanks to Getty Images, I shall recreate the wedding in the eyes of KoiBeyondPond...

10:15 AM: Prince William and Prince Harry arrive at Westminster Abbey

10:42: The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall arrive

Pedo-incest?? EWW. Chuice!

10:55 AM: The Bridesmaids and Pages arrive

AY HALA ANG DAMING ABERYA!
Girl, bata ka pa wag ka masyadong conscious!

But oh well, everything must be in order...

Notice this Page boy. Becky Tendency # 1

While waiting...

Becky tendency #2

11:00 AM: Marriage Service begins

Feel ko Photoshopped na to. heehee

Shempre, meron at merong mag-rereact na guests...

HUNGKERREHHHHH ni David!!!!!

12:15 PM: Service ends and the Royal Procession begins

Once a brat, always a brat!!!

And while everyone is overjoyed...

MAY MGA KALULUWANG DI MATAHIMIK

At kung may bida...

MAY PA-BIDA!

Becky tendency #3

1:25 PM: The couple and their families appear in the Buckingham Palace Balcony

Jusko girl, attitude problem na yan!

And to cap off the celebration PEECHUR PEECHUR!
Mabuhay and bagong kasal!