KOIture Awards:Oscars 2011 Edition

Eto na ang mother of all awards night! And while film buffs around the world feasted on the nominated movies and analyzing the results, my eyes were fixed on the stars parading in the red carpet.

Confession: this post should have been published Monday night but I decided to catch the late night replay on Velvet instead. Nakakahiyang aminin na nakatulog ako in the middle of the program. I guess I have to agree that the hosts' chemistry killed it. James Franco was stale as a 1-week old pandesal habang si Anne ay parang sinapian ni Energizer Bunny!

And just like the show, the dresses seemed to bore me as well. Parang normal party lang. Not much luster and star-factor. Not much outrageous outfits either. Mukhang they all played it safe. Balita ko natakot ma-okray sa KOI-ture Awards. CHUICE! Feeling!

Anyway, wala nang paligoy-ligoy pa, introducing...

Ansabe ng Koi Statuette? Kabogg si Oscar!

For this edition, we shall bring back the hits, the misses and the face-off! Let's start with the hits!

Anne Hathaway in Archival Valentino

Kahit waley ang naging hosting mo, you were a winner in the red carpet! Simple cut but the rose details looked fabulous. At nahiya ako sa term na archival! It means it came from a Valentino vault in France. Timeless elegance.

Natalie Portman in Rodarte

This was Best Actress material! Fabulous color and silhouette. I just wish she played a little more in choosing the shoes and accessories.

Mandy Moore in Monique Lhuillier

The color suited her well! I especially love the beading which created a floating illusion on her arms! I think the look could have been better if her hair wasn't pulled back. Mejo mukhang losyang si tey.

Annette Bening in Naeem Khan

It was a very modern design yet it fit her age perfectly. Not to mention the emerald drop earrings- excellent choice of accessories!

Sandra Bullock in Vera Wang

No need for a lot of styling! So what if it was simple? The overall look was completely sophisticated! I guess the color went well with her dark brown hair too.

Hailee Steinfeld in Marchesa

Thank God she dressed her age! Pink and tulle created a very dreamy and charming look. I just think the hair made her look like a labandera. Chozz.

Mila Kunis in Elie Saab

This is what I call sexaaaaay! (there's like that??) A perfect balance of fierceness (from her face and the peek-a-boos ) and sweetness (from the lilac color and the soft lace). Sana paggising ko bukas ganito na ako... ECHOS!

Misses!

ScarJo in Dolce and Gabbana

Adik ka sa lace teh? Sorry but the dress looked cheap. And what happened to your hair? Next time please use a blower and a brush! Wag mong kakamayin sa harap ng electric fan ah! Tsaka mag Vitress ka! Kakulay pa ng dress mo yung bote!

Christian Bale

So alin diyan ang may dye? Your hair or your beard??? At kelan ka pa naging rabbi aber? Sayang gwapo ka pa naman sana.

Jeniffer Hudson in Atelier Versace

How to make this dress: kumuha ng isang kilometrong tela, itali ng bongga. Take note, sikipan sa side and sa back. But wait, masyadong masikip! Her boobs looked liked a pair of pinisang burger buns!

Sunrise Coigney in Jean Paul Gaultier

OMG!!! Ilabas mo ang tinatago mong Oscar's statuette!!! Don't deny! Kitang-kita from your left side oh!

Marisa Tomei in Charles James Vintage

Ok it's vintage and all but dear, you simply remind me of this...

Only that she was caught in between the transformation.

Halle Berry in Marchesa

The top part looked great. But wait, nasabit ka ba sa limousine mo??? Parang nagmadali lang. "Basta itahi-tahi niyo nalang yan sa ilalim! Bilis!!!

Hillary Swank in Gucci

San ka rumampa teh before going to the red carpet??? Sa EDSA?!??! In fairness dami mong nawalis na alikabok!

And now for the face-off!

Penelope Cruz in L'Wren Scott

Ate girl! Wag mo namang pangunahan ang pagputok ng Mount Bulusan! Maraming mapipinsala! Tenkyew!

Meanwhile, someone came in with a nominated movie as theme in mind...

Virginia Madsen in Romona Keveza

Feathery much??? Half white swan and half black swan! Parang mas fun kung vertical yung division para pang doble kara!

Melissa Leo in Marc Bouwer

Nakikiusap ang parish priest, pakibalik po ng belo ni Maria just in time for Flores de Mayo. Chuice!

Meanwhile may mga naligaw sa awarding ceremony...

Busy Philipps in Douglas Hannant

And for the buffet table...

Nicole Kidman in Christian Dior

Wag kalimutan ang table napkin at ang table runner!

And while the physical set-up is turning out to be great, let's check the menu...

Michelle Williams in Chanel Haute Couture

Perfect na pang tinola! Chozzz lang pow! Baka multohin ako ni Heath Ledger!!!

And with this, we put KOI-Ture Awards to a long break. Next up! FAMAS (mas bongga to!)

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Photos courtesy of Yahoo