As Seen on TV!!!

Like any other child, I would rush home from school in order to spend hours on TV. But unlike the regular kid, I am not a fan of Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon (ECHOS wala pa kasing Nickelodeon nung panahon ko). In fact I rarely watch cartoons!

Fine nanonood pala ako ng Starla and the Jewel Riders (Shet lalakeng-lalake lang!) But what kept me glued to the tube are infomercials.


O yes! Name it, I've seen them all-again and again. Yung iba nga namemorize ko na. I dunno why I found them interesting. I guess because ang bongga lang nag bida-bidahan at mag demo sa harap ng madlang tao tapos may mga magrereact lang ng oooh woooow that's revolutionary!!! Chuice!

I've listed some of my favorites:

1. Turbo Tiger

This powerful gadget can suck the hell out of anything. ECHOS. Tapos may mga extensions pa so that you can use it on the floor and the ceiling. Amazing yung ginamit siya to lift two bowling balls and a wooden table!

2. Ab Flex

Do your crunches with ease! In fairness mukhang space ship. I can't remember much about this product. I guess because I was busy ogling at the models' bodies. SARAP.

3. Silhuet 40


Yes, the gel that reduces the size of your thighs, waists and arms in less than 5 minutes. Magraraid sila sa beach tapos may tent kung saan pwede magpahid ng product and then WOW! AMAZING! I lost 3 cms! *Cue music* SILUET KWARENTAAAAAAAAA!

4. Brown and Crisp

It's just a browning bag for your chicken, pork etc. I really don't know what's so special about it. Perhaps because it's instant.

5. Sewing Genie

Eto amazing. With such a small gadget kaya niyang gumawa ng bestida (the term!), punda at pati kurtina!!!

6. Aerospace Bed

Sorry for the icky picture. Tired of folding beds that take too much space? Futons that are painful in the back? Give your guests the ultimate comfort of the Aero-space bed! I remember testing the product sa pamamagitan ng pagpapasagasa sa pison. Tapos afraid pa yung host kasi baka sumabog! And it floats on water! Ganda lang ni teh sa pool with matching summer drink!

6. Cleopatra

Move over Vicky Belo. Cleopatra nose lift works! Mega suk-sok ka nga lang sa ilong. I wonder what happens when you sneeze or if you have sipon? Kadiri lang pag natuyo!

7. Mojave

The ultimate shades! Interchangeable lenses make 5 pairs in one! There's one for the sunny day, cloudy day, snowy day etc. I seriously wanted to buy one. I stopped fantasizing about owning it when I realized it was too manly.

8. Fat Free Express

No need to cook with oil! At first they will show you a large tub of oil and lard that you supposedly consume in a span of time. May pa eew eww pa ang mga tao. Then the person will show you how to fry an egg using its own oil. Tapos paiikutin yung egg to show that it doesn't stick on the surface.

9. Smart Stacks

One of my favorites! Isama mo na ang endorser na si AUDREY! ( Too bad I can't find a picture of her). It's tightly sealed that when she lights a cube the purple smoke is contained on one layer only. But when you have a party you can just slide each layer and put plastic flowers in the hollow tube at the center. Or if you want to go on a picnic, you can have separate baon for BOB, TINA, etc. (Parang kilala ko sila).

10. Handy Chef

And look ma, no shell!!! I must admit after committing to heart all infomercials, this was the only product we bought. In fairness, totoo ang BAM BAM BAM RAPID SUCCESSION ng mga carrots, celery, peppers and cheese to make a HEALTHY CHOPPED SALAD!

And just like any other infomercial...

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!!
call in the next 5 minutes and...Chuice!

I did a little extra research and I found some of them on YouTube!

In fair gustong-gusto ko nito but it was expensive that time. Pero mas gusto ko yung "carpenter's cross" design in simple silver with a velvet rope.

I've tried this in real life and mejo masakit. Para kang maa-appendicitis!

And my most favorite of all!!!!

Why spend hundreds of dollars for a salon styled hair??? Amazing yung frizzy to straight hair! Pero talagang magagamit ko pa to ngayon...perhaps after Svenson I might consider buying one. Chowz

So what are you waiting for? Dial 890-2345. That's 890-2345 t0 order NOW!

Childhood Niyo Rin Ba To?

When I was young I always looked forward to 10:30 AM on ABS-CBN. Ok its not Ang TV that shifted time slots but this was the time set for tagalized cartoons. Back then wala pa kaseng Nickelodeon, Kidzone, etc.

Over the years, I've watched quite a number of series especially during summer vacations. And with each show I learned to dream of things that I hoped someday would come true. (profound kahit bata?)

Of course we had the popular ones like:


Who could forget Cedie? A lowly boy from New York who later finds himself journeying to England to become a sole heir to a British Earldom. Seeing Cedie, I wished I could be a master in playing the flute. So that I can play my emotions away like him. Ganoooon? I got a bamboo flute but I never had the amor to play it often. I think because ampangit ng lasa. haha

And then there's Cedie's partner:

Princess Sarah!

Unlike the rags to riches plot of Cedie, Sarah Crew had riches to rags. I felt for her, seriously. A princess turned maid? Ang lungkot! I never wanted that to happen to me. All I wanted to happen was to become a princess all throughout. Chuice! Ahem. Alam na.

There were some less popular but equally good shows like:

Julio At Julia: Kambal ng Tadhana

Ok I found this show weird. For very obvious reasons, I had more intelligence then because I could never fathom (fathom?!?) how a chinese guy could have a blondie twin sister. I never wished for a twin though. I simply wanted special powers that could take anywhere I wanted to go.

Growing up a little older there was...

Judie!

This cartoon show was major KILIG! An orphan finds herself a mysterious benefactor named Daddy Long Legs to put her through boarding school where he meets a cute lad called Jervis. And then after college she finds out that Jervis and Daddy Long Legs are one and the same! EEEEEK. So that time, all I wanted was to have romance as sweet as that. And Jervis became my one and only cartoon crush. Patay, confeeeermed.

You see, tagalized cartoons allowed me to dream. Sadly, none of these came true. JUST YET. I don't know how to play the flute, I am not in any way a princess, and all I got were a bunch of bad romance (BEM!). Oh well, never too late.

In other news, have you noticed a peculiar trend among some of the characters?

First they were these


Then Star Cinema created movie adaptations and that turned them to this


And oh well, I guess they went through similar childhood experiences that's why they ended up like this

Hubadera!! Chuice! Bwahahah

kbye!